Ta-tas Rap

My name is Mary and I'm rappin' tonight,
so come on, get the beat, I got a story all right
about my ta-tas. Yeah! I loved 'em so
but I got the big C, had to let 'em go.

I'm talkin' ta-tas, and I ain't foolin' around
about my hooters, I got the low-down.

Didn't seem right to have no boobs,
didn't seem fair -- knockers down the tubes.
My chas-chas was pretty damn swell
but had to make a choice, decided What the hell

Tah tah, ta-tas! No more foolin' around --
them tired old mamas tried to take me down!

I junked my jugs, nothin' left to say,
didn't need them mothafuckas anyway!
Yeah, I'm alive, got the big green light,
everything is cool, gonna be all right.

About my ta-tas, ain't no foolin' around,
them broken headlights was too run down.

Now hear the word from a sistah who knows,
long as I got the LUV, anything goes.
My rack is gone, don't give a shit!
I'm movin' on, movin' out on my tits.

Uh huh, my ta-tas, ain't no more foolin' around,
them saggy-ass bitches was slowin' me down!

(Lyrics by Dylan Schwab and Mary Bast)